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Hockey and a hoax in the New Year

17 Jan

Manti Te'o And His Fake Girlfriende_gf

Minnesota Wild The NHL Is Back

2013 has been in full swing for a couple of weeks and the sporting world is again bustling with excitement.  I hope everyone enjoyed the 35 collegiate bowl games, and judging by the television viewership, you didn’t.  You can put your dismay aside because NHL hockey is back.  Yes, the smallest of all the four major sports just concluded its third work stoppage in the last 18 years, effectively increasing the annual monies lost for some 12 teams in the league who actually lost less when they weren’t playing.  Here in Minnesota, hockey fever returned with a blink of an eye, as evidenced by myself on the Wednesday morning when single game tickets went on sale, selling out the Minnesota Wild’s opening night in less than an hour.  How will the fans’ interest lay after several weeks into the 48 game season?  Will they still show up when teams are on 4-5 game losing streaks, effectively killing any sort of playoff push?  As the previous lockout suggests, which canceled the entire 2004-2005 NHL season, they’ll be back in droves.

Not to be outdone by the fastest game on earth, however, comes along one last college football story.  This one involves a star linebacker from the University of Notre Dame, Manti Te’o, whom apparently had an imaginary girlfriend named Lennay Kekua that fictitiously died from leukemia.  The biggest question has been about his involvement.  Did he help concoct the scheme or was he an innocent victim of online-fabricated correspondence, texting, and phone calling love.  The general consensus cannot decide on a motive, as his only gain seems to be the sympathy he received about said fake death.  The flip side to the story is friend Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, a musician buddy who purportedly used photos from a different woman to setup Lennay’s fake online profile.  Why would a buddy want to humiliate a friend in such an elaborate manner?  What would be his gain to the fall of Manti?  The story is so confusing at this point I haven’t even been able to wrap my own sober opinion around it.

Which brings me to my last comment, raise a glass gals and gents.  You’ll need that little bit of alcohol in your system to tolerate several weeks of rusty hockey and to understand why superstar collegiate football players need pretend girlfriends.  Cheers!

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Memo to drivers entering the roundabout: we know you’re turning right

27 Jun

The latest trend in municipal intersections for several years running is the roundabout, due to its cheap construction and maintenance costs.  And because it is an efficient method to merge several roads of different directions.  By design the roundabout intersection allows you a single directional turn- right (in the United States anyway) -therefore, you only need to be concerned with traffic coming from a single direction, the left (again, in the USA).  During daily driving activity, some drivers always signal their turn using the car’s directional indicator (blinker for the layman) when they come to any intersection.  As it happens, the last several days I’ve had drivers directly in front of me indicate their turn prior to entering the roundabout.  Normally I would applaud this behavior as I like knowing where the driver is probably going.  But in this case, what are they trying to say?  “This time i’m turning right as opposed to a day where I feel like causing total destruction turning to the left” ?  Or “maybe next time instead of turning right I’ll try the hazard lights and come to a complete stop” ?  So many choices, i’m glad these drivers didn’t burden me with a guess to their decision-making.  If only they were educated on that downward pointing triangle sign prior to entering the roundabout…

Introducing the new poster-child for wearing sunscreen

8 Jun

Everybody enjoys getting sun in the summer.  I enjoy it, my wife does, the millions of people at pools or on boats do.  It’s also no secret that tan skin is generally perceived as more “attractive” looking.  You see muscle definition better, body curves are more noticeable, skin with a glowing tan hue looks healthier.  For some, this look is desirable year round.  The unfortunately part of living in the United States is if you live in the middle of the country and upward, you don’t have warm, sunny weather year round.  Northerners (“Yankees”- can I still use that term?) must resort to artificial sunlight during the non-summer months.  And so tanning salons were born.  New Jersey resident Patricia Krentcil, who recently made headlines by being charged with bringing her young child into a tanning salon for said artificial sun, evidently fits into the all-year-tan category.  Krentcil, 44, appears well beyond her age in current pictures.  Her face, due to the continuous tanning, resembles what I call a baseball mitt.  She must have missed the memo about how too much ultraviolet ray exposure can cause premature aging in skin and an extremely unhealthy facial appearance.  As shown in the above photo, her appearance was once quite the opposite.  An aspiring model in her 20s, I’ve now dubbed her the poster-child for how not to go about your tanning business.  Coppertone, Banana Boat, stand up and take notice…you have a marketing frenzy on your hands!

“Put the name of the water back up or we’ll sue”

17 May

No, that isn’t the cry of a 12 yr old boy playing “City” in his sandbox with his buddies.  It’s the gist of a statement that the country of Iran made to internet giant Google in response to seeing the name “Persian Gulf” omitted from its mapping service.  In what would make a perfect “Really?!? with Jeff” topic, I’m restrained from posting such satire in the event Iran decided to sue me for libel.  No matter how preposterous a statement that Google face serious damages if the water’s name isn’t returned, I’ve resigned to taking the high road.  It’s not a laughing matter, no it’s not.  This particular slice of the global map has been disrespected wholeheartedly by a corporate juggernaut.  Ocean water molecules need to stand together and demand retribution.  Middle East sea salt shall have their voices heard!

DeLorean parts available at O’Reilly Auto

29 Nov

In case you were thinking about modifying your 1981-1983 DeLorean to travel through time, O’Reilly Auto has you covered.  Both the Flux Capacitor and Mr. Fusion are available on their website, however, they both seem to be mysteriously out of stock.  Strange.

Unprecedented- not a single person in line at Chipotle!

14 Nov

Viewed as an epic win from every angle imaginable, today, November 14th 2011, I walked into a Chipotle restaurant during the lunchtime “rush” (12:30pm to be exact) and not a single person was in line.  Yes, you read that correctly, no waiting for food on this day.  The typical experience of waiting behind 30 people, usually consisting of sandal-wearing college kids or cafeteria-skipping high schoolers, was not to be had.  Stunned, I had to quickly think of my order since I didn’t have my customary 15 minutes to stare at my smartphone reading email and preparing my lips to say “chicken fajita bowl to go”, then repeat, because the Chipotle burrito artist never hears the “to go” part.  The experience ended up being a success as no sour cream was assumed and accidentally added in the fury of customers.  All because there was only one in line at that glorious moment.

Still available, but not on sale

26 Sep

Not that i’ve ever been a bad price, I’ve always felt that I was a good value!